Hooper Leadership Coaching
Accelerating Leaders


Thoughts on Leadership

Dating your current Girlfriend

Son, I'm excited to hear about you and [current girlfriend].  It is good to get to know different girls to see what qualities you like for a wife.  Dating is either for marriage preparation or for marriage destruction.


The things you are attracted to at your age in dating are most likely not the things which will make for a good marriage.

Some of the qualities which are most important for a wife which I have noticed are:

  1. Strong relationship with Jesus.  Many girls may say they are “Christians” but don’t love Jesus.  You don’t want a cultural Christian, you want a women who truly loves Jesus.
  2. Strong relationship with her dad.  What is her relationship with her father like?  The way she talks about and relates to her father is the way she will treat you.  If she respects her dad, she will respect you.  If she has “father issues”, stay away, you will take on the emotional deficit she lacked from her dad.
  3. Quality friends.  Consider the friends she has.  The values of our friends tell a lot about us.  These friends become the bridesmaids at your wedding.  They become the ones who give her counsel and wisdom about you.  Proverbs says a lot about friends.  Chose your friends wisely because who you spend time with will have a big impact on your life.
  4. Willingness to communicate.  Communication is the #1 conflict area of marriage.  Dating gives you the opportunity to develop communication skills which will help you in your marriage.  Men and Women are very different.  God tells us to live with our wives in an understanding way.  Although it is difficult to understand women, it is possible.
  5. Desire to stay pure till marriage.  This may seem strange in our day of sexual freedom but many would say in tears that they wish they waited to enjoy the sexual relationship till they got married.  Mom and I waited to have sex till we got married and we are glad we waited.  Save your heart and body for the one women you will marry.
  6. Servant attitude.  Find a women who is willing to help and serve others. Selfishness in your heart or hers will kill a marriage. Marriage and Family is about giving, giving and giving till you are tired of giving. Find a women who has a strange desire to serve and give to others and you will be glad. You both must get used to giving to each other as the key to a happy and healthy marriage.
  7. Be attracted to a women you can laugh with. Have fun. Laughter in marriage is a gift. Marriage is hard and many fail. The ability to laugh at yourself is key for a healthily marriage.
I have more to share but will stop here.
Charles Hooper, Jr.