Coaching the Whole Heart
The gospel transforms every relationship from a heart level. What could happen if we improved our ability to coach people from their whole heart with the power of the gospel?
When the Bible talks about the “heart” it refers to our thoughts, choices, emotions and desires. To be fully human means we relate to God and others from our whole heart. As men, it is easy to relate to God and others from our thoughts and choices while neglecting our emotions and desires. (thanks Larry Bolden and Wellspring)
Romans 7 describes the wrestling match that believers go through. There is a dark and light side of our sanctification. The “Gospel Waltz” (thanks Dr. Bob Flayhart) is the Christian’s response to that wrestling match. We repent, believe and obey as if it were a dance of 1-2-3, 1-2-3, etc.
We repent of the lies, foolish choices, harmful emotions and distorted desires.
We believe the truth, make wise choices, experience healthy emotions and embrace deeply divine desires.
All this results in obedient actions which honor God and serve others.
When we combine the Four Levels of the Heart and the Gospel Waltz with some powerful, curious and open-ended questions, a great coaching tool emerges.
These 12 questions can be used to coach someone from their whole heart with the gospel. All you have to do is simply ask the question, listen and pray. That’s it -ask, listen and pray. You will be amazed at what happens in the person you are coaching.
What would you like to be engaged from your whole heart about?
What lies are you believing?
What foolish choices have you made?
What harmful feelings do you have?
What distorted desires do you have?
What sins do you need to repent of?
What is the truth?
What are the wise choices?
What are the healthy feelings?
What are the deep desires you have?
What truths do you need to believe?
What do you need to obey in the power of the Spirit?
Some coaching sessions are strategic planning and tactical oriented. There are times when a client is dealing with mindset or character issues.
This tool is great for when you want to help the client go deeper. We don’t want this to turn into counseling or pastoral care.
I have taught this tool to hundreds of leaders and they tell me this is one of the most significant aspects of the training.
Try it out! When your client wants to talk to you about an issue or situation in their life, ask them if you can ask them 12 simple questions so they can be engaged from their whole heart by the gospel. Ask, Listen and Pray and see what the Holy Spirit will do!