Hooper Leadership Coaching
Accelerating Leaders


Thoughts on Leadership

Shotgun Dating Question

I love this father's desire to seek wisdom about helping his son with dating!  What a great example of a dad who wants to help his son make wise dating decisions.  Here is his email: "Charles, because you're a father of 6 boys and have far more experience in this area than I do, I'd like to ask your advice. I'm starting to encourage [son] to date. [Wife] and I have held off until now for a variety of reasons (spiritual and emotional maturity being paramount). But, I don't think I would be a good father if I didn't start shepherding him through the process now, a couple of years before he heads off to college."

Shotgun-marriages"So...the question I have is, how do you help your sons make good choices in who to date...choices that we can feel comfortable with as parents? I mean, the standard "Is she a Christian?" question is obvious. There's a girl who [son] knows from school who has apparently told [son] she's a Christian, and she goes to [abc church]. But, that still doesn't tell me a whole lot about her character and her spiritual maturity. I mean...if [son] were to tell me that he wanted to ask out one of any number of girls from [xwz church], I would at least know a bit about the girl, the depth of her faith, her commitment to serving others, her family, etc."

"But, how do I become comfortable with him spending time outside of school with a girl I know absolutely nothing about? [son] wants to go out on a date with this girl because she's fun, and they share a lot of similar interests, etc. But, how can I get him to dig deeper and find out more about her faith and what's really important to her before asking her out...without it seeming creepy to the girl?"

Any suggestions you have or books you might suggest I read would really be helpful. Thanks!

Please comment: What are some of the things you would say to this father?

Charles Hooper, Jr.